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One has heard of IQ, EQ and even the Derek O'Brien-defined term KQ... Out here in B-schools, the inside crowd tends to live life in a different plane. Though in most cases, one may find more than enough resemblance with a student's life outside the hallowed portals of a B-school and the one inside it, but still snapshots from hell will always be something unique and special. Having been a part of this system for more than a year now and having successfully (not in terms of great grades, but yeah, in terms of great life) survived the ordeal of a fuccha life, I can well vouch for the fact that if one wants to define new things in life, and do research on human psychology, then the best guinea pigs aka research base can be the B-school junta.

Here is an attempt by the author to define a new quotients base - "Da A-Z of B-Skool Quotients". Some of the analysis and naamkaran can be better comprehended by B-school junta, but others need not worry... comprehension is always relative and no one's naïve now-a-days.

AQ (Ass Quotient) - People who have a one-point mission in life, i.e., to gain more and more Class Participation (henceforth will be referred as CP) points. These kind of people, in their over-zealous attempt to gain more relative grades, make a complete ass of themselves by uttering something completely nonsense.

BQ (Bakwaas Quotient) - The ability of individuals to keep on blabbering anything on everything under the aegis of B-school

CQ (Confused Quotient) - The ability to be confused with whatever is happening in the surrounding. For more on this junta... hmmm... ahem... he he... I am confused.

DQ (Dilbert Quotient) - The ability to come up with lines and ideas like Dilbert and then face the same problems as poor Dilbert faces.

EQ (ET!! Quotient) - The ability to remain absolutely aloof and absent from whatever is happening inside the four walls of the class to such a level that classmates barely acknowledge his/her presence, and then suddenly coming with a "jadoo" like one liner, which refreshes the whole mood of the class.

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* Contributed by: -
Saikat Bose,
Class of 2006,
IMI, India.