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General Happiness - 131

Back

Headlines They Didn't Mean!!!

Headlines are important. They advertise and market the following information. Sometimes, it goes horribly wrong...

  1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

  2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

  3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

  4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

  5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

  6. Farmer Bill Dies in House

  7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

  8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

  9. Stud Tires Out

  10. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

  11. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

  12. Eye Drops off Shelf

  13. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

  14. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

  15. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

  16. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

  17. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

  18. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

  19. Miners Refuse to Work after Death

  20. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

  21. Stolen Painting Found by Tree

  22. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

  23. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

  24. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

  25. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

  26. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84

  27. War Dims Hope for Peace

  28. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

  29. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

  30. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

  31. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

  32. Deer Kill 17,000

  33. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

  34. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

  35. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

  36. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

  37. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

  38. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

  39. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

  40. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

  41. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

  42. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

  43. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

  44. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

  45. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

  46. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

  47. Air Head Fired

  48. Steals Clock, Faces Time

  49. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

  50. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

  51. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

  52. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

  53. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

  54. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

  55. Include your Children When Baking Cookies

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