• The law of Selective Gravity (The buttered side down law): An object will fall as to do the most damage.
• If you at first don't succeed, give up. 
• When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt. 
• Anything free is worth what you pay for it. 
• In case of doubt, make it sound convincing. 
• Never go to a doctor who's office plants have died. 
• Any given program will expand to fill all available resources. 
• If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. 
• You can get ANYWHERE in ten minutes if you drive fast enough. 
• If you explain so clearly that no one can misunderstand, somebody will. 
• Do not believe in miracles - rely on them. 
• Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life. 
• Always tell her that she is pretty, especially when she isn't. 
• An authority is somebody who can tell you more about something than you really care to know 
• Under the most rigorously controlled conditions, the experimental apparatus will do exactly as it pleases 
• The chief cause of problems is solutions. 
• Friend may come and go, but enemies accumulate. 
• A faithful car will continue to be faithful until the day you fit it with four brand new tyres, then it will fall apart. 
• Any given program, once running, is obsolete. 
• Don't force it, get a large hammer. 
• Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. 
• Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is messed up, anything done to improve it makes it worse. 
• First Law of Advice: The correct advice is to give the advice that is desired. 
• I have yet to see any problem, which, when you looked at it the right way, did not become still more complicated. 
• If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. 
• If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. 
• If at first you don't succeed, blame the teacher. 
• If at first you don't succeed, try something else. 
• If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. 
• If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it. 
• If little else, the brain is an educational toy. - Tom Robbins 
• If you do something which you are sure will meet with everyone's approval, somebody won't like it. 
• If you want your name spelt wrong, die. 
• In any household, junk accumulates to fill the storage space available. 
• Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place. 
• Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know. 
• It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick something from the floor when you get up. 
• It is better for civilisation to be going down the drain than to be coming up it. 
• It works better when you turn the brightness up. 
• Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do it. 
• Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 
• Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway. 
• Murphy's First Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks. 
• Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you think. 
• Murphy's Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. 
• Murphy's Third Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time. 
• Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. 
• Old age is always 15 years older than I am. 
• On a beautiful day like this, it is hard to believe that anyone can be unhappy - but we're working on it. 
• Parkinson's First Law: Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. 
• Parkinson's Second Law: Expenditures rise to meet income. 
• Patience is something that you admire greatly in the driver behind you but not in the one ahead of you. 
• Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it. 
• Pros are people who do jobs well even when they don't feel like it 
• Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the restraining speed. 
• The chief cause of problems is solutions. 
• The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where highest overtime rates lie waiting. 
• The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won't get much sleep. 
• The probability of anything happening is inversely proportional to its desirability. 
• The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance. 
• There ain't no such thing as a free lunch. 
• Two wrongs do not make a right; it usually takes three or more. 
• You always find something in the last place you look.

PS - Murphy was an optimist.

Murphy's Law of Emergency Medical Services
Murphy's Rules of Combat
Rules of The Game