"Toxin Crisis"- Five ways of handling the Iagoraptor
| January 25,2012 02:29 pm IST
Remember, I had promised a therapy session on handling the Iagoraptor-the professionally envious colleague. Having explored the Vital Signs of Harmful Intent of the Iagoraptor in the article on the Great Pretender, I have a few suggestions to handle the deadly specimen.
You may kindly choose whichever one you want. All consequences are strictly yours to deal with.
(True to the nature of the hunting game, I have liberally dipped into Robin Cook thrillers for cooking up the title and some of the contents.)
We will start with the sweet stuff, to lessen the Toxin effect. After all, the great Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s advice on handling envy goes like this: “Against another’s great merits, there is no remedy but love.”
I beg to differ, Herr Goethe.
Iagoraptors do not understand love .Too much of “Sturm Und Drang” - ‘Storm and Stress’ as you will appreciate, my good sir. They wrongly rhyme love with chow. And eat it, washing it down with the best white wine this side of Chardonnay.
We are speaking of hard core malice here. ‘I don’t want your apology, I want my scroll’, in that deadly, deep baritone of Ian Mcshane in that sumptuous movie, Kung fu Panda. Out to harm the world and kill the Master in the process -Tai Lung wallah style, get it? No soft feelings in this Dragon Warrior wannabe.
1. Accept that a raptor is a raptor is a raptor. Stop imagining goodness where there is none.
Stop fooling yourself that the friendly neighborhood predator has your best interests in his/her heart.
“And he slashes at you with this... a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect. “(Dr.Allen Grant, in Jurassic Park on the Velociraptor)
With acceptance of the problem, half the tension goes off.
2. Mark your boundaries. Distance yourself from the poison source.
‘Taking you for granted’ is the first pathway to be alert about. The predator comes and leaves –leaving you bleeding. So build a fence and electrify it for good effect. The next time Ms. Nasty sends you a sms reeking of humiliation, or Mr. Horrendous tries to manipulate you subtly in a meeting, make it clear- ‘Enough is enough.’
To inspire you further, I quote one of my most favorite authors, Dr.Clarissa Pinkola Estes, who has written that great masterpiece on creativity and self affirmation, ‘Women who run with the Wolves’.
“Remember, anywhere there is beauty, the predator shows up. That this occurs is not remarkable, rather that this occurs means all the more reason for your light to be brought forward in love and insight… and clear boundaries to shelter your gifts.”
3. Defreeze and Arm yourself!
The story of the frozen eagle is archetypal. The eaglet is caught young and kept captive. Later, even when released, it is unable to try out its wings. It is so used to living in bondage, you see.
And similar is the case in reacting against venomous creatures-whether it is at work, home or market place. One has to realize that one is free to react and that reacting is a veritable must, in order to protect one’s sanity. But more often than not, one is caught in the mental bondage of one’s own helplessness. So arm yourself with self love and protect your self esteem.
“Question unkindness, but be kind if/as you can.
Question cruelty, but be not cruel without necessity.
Question hatefulness, but be not hateful.
Question condemnation, but do not condemn, only note the differences in tone and timbre and which you prefer.
Do not engage to try to shame or change another who is cruel, rather only make a statement of your light, so that others who come, others who see, others who overhear, will be able to find their way through a bit more-because you lit the way through a darkness.” (Dr. Estes)
4. Be Stoical if You Choose (but Do Not Play the Martyr)
Some people would rather jump off a cliff than speak up for themselves. The Iagoraptors of life typically make mincemeat out of them -chewing them out on a daily basis. Sometimes these ‘victims’ aka “martyrs’ complain that they are being tortured, used, not appreciated, taken for a ride by the Iagoraptor.
Well, if the choice is to be stoical, read Seneca, the Roman Statesman, who wrote “Letters from a Stoic” and be warned:
“And this, too, affords no small occasion for anxieties - if you are bent on assuming a pose and never reveal yourself to anyone frankly, in the fashion of many who live a false life that is all made up for show; for it is torturous to be constantly watching oneself and be fearful of being caught out of our usual role. ‘
5. Get Eaten by the Iagoraptor and Appreciate her while Dying
As Muldoon said, just before getting fatally attacked by the Velociraptor in Jurassic Park: “Clever girl”!
Amen, Rest in Peace.