Ashish Malhotra
10-13-2004, 04:13 PM
W E L C O M E ! (On a lighter vein)
Terrific You Are Now Part Of The Legendary GIM Family! It’s A Prize For Sure. The prize although may OR may not include the following:
1) Two Year stint provided at the choicest of location in India, “Goa”.
(A) Your course begins at 8 55 am on a day of the calendar day and extends day and night through thick and thin without rest.
(B) This course will not be disrupted by the threat of nuclear war or death (spiritual or physical) of the student himself. At no time you will be permitted to relax. This is Goa Institute of Management not Goa Taj Holidays. Yes, no beach chairs will be provided, tolerated or acknowledged.
(i) Relaxing includes the following activities: attending class! every time, observance of a government recognized holiday, drinking coffee for purposes other than feeding caffeine into your bloodstream to extend the length of the 24 hour work day, wearing a leisure suit, thinking about hammocks, sunny or rainy getaways, movie breaks, the Sabbath, or taking deep breaths while counting backwards from ten.
(C) Exposure to natural sunlight is also strictly prohibited. Fresh air intake will be monitored. If fresh air is detected in the lungs it will be extracted immediately. For further information of GIM sanctioned evil practices, see Section X, Article C entitled ‘Drawing the last breath During the years of a Lifetime, Act’.
(D) Engaging in monkey business, horseplay, buffalo playing, recitation of old school lyrics or running in the hallways without any authorized or work-related purpose as outlined in the unwritten GIMSAC Guide to Advancement will be frowned upon and lead to additional GBM briefs to your already full-plate.
(E) You must subject yourself, your egos and so called ideas to daily ridicule, humiliation and if warranted subtle nods of approval. Tears, backtalk, fist throwing or fisting, kicking, screaming, cries of help directed at a higher being, or any other emotional display by a student will all result in great amusement and more likely a lack of respect from GIM, its subsidiaries, half-siblings, and half-wilts formerly or presently engaged in proprietary relationship with the aforementioned party or parties. “DID SOMEONE SAY PARTY?”
(i) Your emotions must be suppressed at all the times. We are professionals in training.
(ii) If a boiling point nears and an emotional release is absolutely unavoidable, you are encouraged to use the emotions such as “: )” or “^;>’”. We are being more than reasonable here.
(F) Student will leap at the opportunity, chomp at the bit, and adhere to all other clichéd turns of phrase describing the enthusiasm expected of them when it comes to sleeping. When asked by other batch-mates for their raison d’ etre, you will promptly reply with an upturned chin and the sincerity and the conviction of a living creature capable of sincerity and conviction, “I am a student of GIM and have no time to speak German with you. Please, let me pass, sir/madam so that I might continue into my pursuit of excellence. I beg unto you. Do not make me beseech for I knoweth not the meaning of that verb.”
(i) You will accept the great honor of attending endless meetings (external, internal, sub dermal, metaphysical). These meetings will certainly interfere with the grueling schedule, complain all you want. As policy dictates only GIMSAC will listen.
(ii) Tight deadlines are inevitable, you will experience them firsthand. In the regular event you have less than an hour to generate an awe inspiring outsourced work. If you fail to embrace the impending stress and “blow off” the gravity of the situation, the chances of placement after the course will be diminished considerably.
(iii) COFFEE & SOOTA + Bakaar. You are encouraged to drink N smoke (bakaar) as much as possible unless of course it results in frequent trips to the rest room which disrupts the work process. Therefore, you are strongly discouraged from consumption. Regularity however is a good thing. It gives you the right legal boost needed to work without rest. Drink it up, puff it out. There are sleeping kids in Germany.
(iv) You are also required to shake hands with real life full-time GIMMATES you encounter. Consider these brushes with greatness just that. Brushes. Shake their HANDS and move on. Do not mistake these cordial gestures for anything more. Remember you are operating on a 2-year sleep deficit. Your judgement is impaired.
(a) The student must be over the age of 16. Thus child labor laws cannot apply to you.
(G) Speaker phones are off limits. No ifs and or buts. Back to work. No talky talky.
(H) You are required to love GIM as much as GIM loves you.
(i) The official measurement of love is in work hours.
(I) High-speed internet access is available 24/7. Just like you, internet is for work purposes only. All surfing will be monitored.
2) This legal tone is getting old. If you think you wouldn’t completely squander the opportunities given to you by GIM, think again and again and again. Never ever stop thinking. You will find it as endearing as annoying.
“I wish you good luck and Godspeed”
WILCO!
Terrific You Are Now Part Of The Legendary GIM Family! It’s A Prize For Sure. The prize although may OR may not include the following:
1) Two Year stint provided at the choicest of location in India, “Goa”.
(A) Your course begins at 8 55 am on a day of the calendar day and extends day and night through thick and thin without rest.
(B) This course will not be disrupted by the threat of nuclear war or death (spiritual or physical) of the student himself. At no time you will be permitted to relax. This is Goa Institute of Management not Goa Taj Holidays. Yes, no beach chairs will be provided, tolerated or acknowledged.
(i) Relaxing includes the following activities: attending class! every time, observance of a government recognized holiday, drinking coffee for purposes other than feeding caffeine into your bloodstream to extend the length of the 24 hour work day, wearing a leisure suit, thinking about hammocks, sunny or rainy getaways, movie breaks, the Sabbath, or taking deep breaths while counting backwards from ten.
(C) Exposure to natural sunlight is also strictly prohibited. Fresh air intake will be monitored. If fresh air is detected in the lungs it will be extracted immediately. For further information of GIM sanctioned evil practices, see Section X, Article C entitled ‘Drawing the last breath During the years of a Lifetime, Act’.
(D) Engaging in monkey business, horseplay, buffalo playing, recitation of old school lyrics or running in the hallways without any authorized or work-related purpose as outlined in the unwritten GIMSAC Guide to Advancement will be frowned upon and lead to additional GBM briefs to your already full-plate.
(E) You must subject yourself, your egos and so called ideas to daily ridicule, humiliation and if warranted subtle nods of approval. Tears, backtalk, fist throwing or fisting, kicking, screaming, cries of help directed at a higher being, or any other emotional display by a student will all result in great amusement and more likely a lack of respect from GIM, its subsidiaries, half-siblings, and half-wilts formerly or presently engaged in proprietary relationship with the aforementioned party or parties. “DID SOMEONE SAY PARTY?”
(i) Your emotions must be suppressed at all the times. We are professionals in training.
(ii) If a boiling point nears and an emotional release is absolutely unavoidable, you are encouraged to use the emotions such as “: )” or “^;>’”. We are being more than reasonable here.
(F) Student will leap at the opportunity, chomp at the bit, and adhere to all other clichéd turns of phrase describing the enthusiasm expected of them when it comes to sleeping. When asked by other batch-mates for their raison d’ etre, you will promptly reply with an upturned chin and the sincerity and the conviction of a living creature capable of sincerity and conviction, “I am a student of GIM and have no time to speak German with you. Please, let me pass, sir/madam so that I might continue into my pursuit of excellence. I beg unto you. Do not make me beseech for I knoweth not the meaning of that verb.”
(i) You will accept the great honor of attending endless meetings (external, internal, sub dermal, metaphysical). These meetings will certainly interfere with the grueling schedule, complain all you want. As policy dictates only GIMSAC will listen.
(ii) Tight deadlines are inevitable, you will experience them firsthand. In the regular event you have less than an hour to generate an awe inspiring outsourced work. If you fail to embrace the impending stress and “blow off” the gravity of the situation, the chances of placement after the course will be diminished considerably.
(iii) COFFEE & SOOTA + Bakaar. You are encouraged to drink N smoke (bakaar) as much as possible unless of course it results in frequent trips to the rest room which disrupts the work process. Therefore, you are strongly discouraged from consumption. Regularity however is a good thing. It gives you the right legal boost needed to work without rest. Drink it up, puff it out. There are sleeping kids in Germany.
(iv) You are also required to shake hands with real life full-time GIMMATES you encounter. Consider these brushes with greatness just that. Brushes. Shake their HANDS and move on. Do not mistake these cordial gestures for anything more. Remember you are operating on a 2-year sleep deficit. Your judgement is impaired.
(a) The student must be over the age of 16. Thus child labor laws cannot apply to you.
(G) Speaker phones are off limits. No ifs and or buts. Back to work. No talky talky.
(H) You are required to love GIM as much as GIM loves you.
(i) The official measurement of love is in work hours.
(I) High-speed internet access is available 24/7. Just like you, internet is for work purposes only. All surfing will be monitored.
2) This legal tone is getting old. If you think you wouldn’t completely squander the opportunities given to you by GIM, think again and again and again. Never ever stop thinking. You will find it as endearing as annoying.
“I wish you good luck and Godspeed”
WILCO!