Call Center Conversation

 | August 21,2010 10:23 am IST

 

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline ( it was a word processing software before MS Office came on scene and changed the scene), which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

 

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

 

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

 

Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."

 

Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."

 

Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

 

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"

 

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

 

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

 

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"

 

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

 

Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

 

Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

 

Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

 

Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

 

Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

 

Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

 

Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"

 

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"

 

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

 

Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"

 

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

 

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you Bought it from."

 

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

 

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too $*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"