Hiring Styles of Different Companies

 | August 09,2010 10:23 am IST

 

Satyam method
Hire a lion, give him net access... no work... and deport him to Chennai centre... no water... no electricity... no hindi speaking ppl... lion dies in oblivion...

 

Infosys method

Hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat... he will die eventually of frustration...

 

TCS method
Hire a lion, give him a hell lot of work and pay him government salary... lion dies of hunger and frustration...

 

IBM method
Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour... he dies of unemployment...

 

Syntel method
Hire a Cat... assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite... Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion...

 

MBT method
Hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job... lion dies of the strain?

 

i-Flex method
Hire a lion??? Oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion), holy cow dies in fear of the real lion...

 

COSL method
Hire a lion... tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance... lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat...

 

Polaris method
Hire... sorry... purchase a lion (COSL)... change his timings... (instead of 9 AM, change it to 8:30 AM)... cut down his allowance (coupons etc)... lion dies from fear of becoming CAT...

 

Silverline method
Hire a lion, declare a scandal and dont pay him... he dies of hunger...

 

Quinnox method
Hire the lion... either give him no work or ask for a premature delivery... Lion either dies of boredom or intense physical & mental activity...

 

Patni method
Hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat... the lion dies before joining...

 

Nucsoft method
Hire a lion, give him job of grass eating (IBBS Support)... the lion dies from lack of eating meat...

 

Wipro method
Hire a lion... give him lots of work... transfer him to Wipro Lights division... lion dies due to Lightness...

 

Mastek method
Hire a lion... ask him to align himself with anything and everything... ask him to fill complicated competency forms... differ increments and pay him salary of a cat... lion dies due to fear of getting mis-aligned or starvation...

 

Microsoft Method
Hire a lion... (thats it.)